I really enjoying the first two series of BBC’s In the Club. I loved watching series one while I was pregnant but never thought a group of people who met at an antenatal group could become such good friends.
Fast forward a couple of months after the end of series one and I was sat holding a newborn baby, drinking coffee and discussing leaking boobs, stitches down below and poo issues (both adults and baby) with a group of women I had only met a couple of months earlier.
Over the first few months of my newborns life these ladies kept me together, were there for coffee when I needed to get out of the house and were an ear to listen to when I needed a whinge. As I mentioned in a previous post, there were things I didn’t feel I could tell them out of fear of being thought crazy, but we talked about most things and tried out lots of baby groups together.
Then we decided to move and I lost this close group of women. I live nearer to my family and to old school friends now and I love spending time with both. But I miss my mummy group. I’ve met a couple of other mums down here and we’ve done occasional play dates and coffees but we just don’t seem to have that bond.
When my cousin’s girlfriends recently asked on Facebook if antenatal groups are worth going to, lots of the responses were that the classes aren’t worth it. But I tried to stress that if nothing else you could meet the people who will keep you sane.
So why do antenatal group friends go from strangers to someone you can discuss bowel movements with in such a short period of time?
Well, for one thing they are on maternity leave at the same time as you. So while other friends are at work they are around for coffees, lunches and baby groups. Or just on the other end of the phone for moral support.
You’ve all been through it together. Maybe not in hospital at exactly the same time, but close enough to remember just how awful contractions are, how good tea and toast post labour is and just how little sleep you are getting right at this minute now. Even a year down the line those things tend to be a bit blurred.
There’s a good chance your kids will be growing up together. Unless, like us you move away, there’s a good chance they will be in the same school/ out of school groups if they live close by.
I realise not everyone bonds quite so well with their group, or they don’t get chance to attend an antenatal group at all, or they don’t want to. But if you get the chance do try and go to a group and be brave, say hi to the person next to you. I miss my antenatal friends desperately. I know time has moved on for all of us and most of us are back to work. We still chat online and we have visited them a couple of times, but I’d love to go back to those hazy, blurry days of maternity leave, endless coffees and countryside walks. I couldn’t have done it without them!